Believe in Us

Today marks the day that I break away from Jacob, out of all the times I've  discussed it with him and not been able to follow through, I did it. I did it for the both of us. I decided to be strong for US. Only then, will he find happiness in himself. Only then will he forgive himself. Only then will he understand what he's done wrong and then he will realize what he has to do differently and ultimately accept what he's done and what he needs to do now. Which will allow him to move on and move forward. I love him so much and it hurt me more to leave him, than it hurt him. To see the pain in his eyes, to feel the need he had for me. The feeling of not letting go, it killed me. I can't explain how hurt I feel. But I know we both need to change our bad habits and create a healthier relationship with ourselves before we attempt to heal our unhealthy relationship. It just crushes my heart and soul to know that our time together is ticking. With my plans for school in Arizona around the corner I bet he feels like he's being ripped out of time. Like he doesn't have enough as it seems with the current situation. But before he knows it, the time he will have with me will be healthier, and memorable, because I'm ready for change, I'm ready for a new US! 

Don't you ever stop believing in yourself, like I won't ever stop believing in you. I love you Jacob.