Bittersweet

I enjoy a rainy day, but not like any other would . I like running through the rain beating the waves of drops splashing on my face, landing on my head. It's delightful as the rain caresses my skin, and wraps it's way around and holds it for a second, then he leaves you in awe. Like a hand touching your face, only to stay for a while. The rain is a bittersweet event.

Soul surfer

My lips tainted red, my soul is fluorescent blue, it's always an adventure when I'm with you. -Tiffany

Free spirit

Inspiring, motivational, realist, direct, Honest.

Cloudy but very delightful

I've started to blog again, like I used to, I find myself in the need to do so. I've been doing a lot of thinking, now since I have a lot of time in my hands, I can't get enough of it. It really eats me up sometimes, thinking about my struggles. But the thing that I try to do is STAY POSITIVE. Something I've not been very exposed to, until recently. I met this boy. Not to long ago, and he makes me happy, he makes me smile, and he makes me laugh. But most importantly he wipes away my struggles. He takes me on an adventure, every time i'm with him. I've met new people and new places. I've tried new things and new wine. I don't know, but I knew there was something special about him when I met him. I have to say, he made quite the first impression. We hit it off. You know when you feel like you benefit from a friendship, you want to stay. That's how I feel about him, but I don't think he benefits much from me, that's why I've started to feel like he won't stay. I know it's been a short period of time since we first met until now. But I've grown very fond of him. I think about him a lot, wondering how his day is going, what interesting tales he's got for me. I know I'm an over thinker, and that is my flaw, I think too much about things and I find myself doing this here, blogging. Blogging about how I've fallen for someone like him. I don't know what falling in love means, but I know what being passionate means. and if being passionate about somebody, and caring for a human being so strongly, and you think about them a lot and want nothing more but to be with that person, well then I think i'm in love. I've never thought myself as a romantic, but I think someone once told me I was. As tough as my barrier is and as tough as my heart is, it weakens in the thought of not having him in my life. Just because he has made a huge impact in it so far. With hearing his story, our deep drunk conversations and adventures we've been in. I never thought I would get this attached, but I did, I completely let my guard down. Which I don't know if it was a good thing or a bad thing. I mean, only time will tell. My tough soul is telling me to beat it to the punch, wipe it away, the feelings, the wanting, and the passion for him like I usually do, to just like any other guy. But the thing is he's not like any other guy. He's different, he's special, he's sweet, and that's what keeps me there, what keeps me from leaving or making stupid mistakes or actions that I will regret. He is someone that I haven't had in my life. Someone that makes me feel extremely alive. He makes me feel a million things. I'm comfortable, it's weird but I feel like i'm at home with him.

White noise

Don’t be afraid to ask for help, everybody needs it, you can’t always do everything on your own. Break away from the pride and Independence, and reach out they say. Well, why is it that now, when i’m in need of help no one is helping me. Or is it that i’m not asking the right person. Maybe I am a little bit afraid to ask just because i’m embarrassed. I truly am and i’m disappointed. I’m a basket full of negatives. I feel worthless. I try to do something about my situation, yet it doesn't go in my favor. Although he makes me happy, I can’t help but to feel depressed. I’m only depressed because i’m not satisfied or happy with the position that i’m in. I’m not happy with myself so I can’t fully be happy at all. I like to be out and about, enjoy my outer extrovert. But when i’m alone with my thoughts I just feel shitty afterwards. No wonder a lot of introverted people feel the way they do, they get in too deep, that’s why they are morbid thinkers. I mean, I've always been a morbid thinker .. I wouldn't go to drastic measures and sleep forever. But just hurt my body with all the negative thinking. Not by action but by my body’s own physical way, emotionally and mentally, it’s unhealthy. When I write out my feelings I feel like i’m removing them from my head and leaving it on white noise. Which can be stored away, but when opened, although it’s silent it’s really loud and it makes a screeching noise that can be heard, not by anyone else, not by your ears, but by your eyes that are planted on one focus. It triggers my nerve cells and electrifies my body. You’re in too deep. But what you find out is that if you're mentally strong, you can silence that noise.